The day I was dumped

Have to get this off my chest somehow. I was the designer and webmaster of a cat shelter site. I used to help out a lot at the shelter in terms of feeding and medicating the cats. Soon I took over the neglected site. Updated daily, did the proofreading, took pictues. There are two headmasters of the cat shelter and one of them said I was not allowed to correct her faulty lingo anymore. Was rather tired when I edited her text that morning when fixing the bad grammar. She started spamming me with mails about how I had “ruined the message”. Capslock, a million exclamation marks, very rude. I debated its important to use a common language that everyone can comprehend, not publishing her personal odd phrasing. Little did I know before she told me off, really offending me... not even seeming to comprehend what made her upset.

That was it. I had to get out of the situation. There was no use in explaining why I had changed that word. I was crying for hours and wrote back that Id continue to be the webmaster for the cats sake, but no use. She let her ego stand in the way for the update of the site, the most important link to the public. I went there at midnight and left the key along with the passwords. Hugged the cats, knowing I couldnt come back and see them for a very long time – maybe never.

Turned off my cellphone, knowing that the sane headmaster could reach me on the other phone, visit me, maybe send a mail or a text message. Nothing happened. They dumped me. Total silence. A month later, or something like that, they got a new webmaster. He isnt very skilled, so he managed to crash the images and mess up pretty much everything. Didnt look good, but what am I supposed to do. It got better after a few weeks, but not much happens regarding updates. Maybe they didnt find new owners for the cats. Maybe they dont care about updating.

There was never an excuse. She said there was nothing to excuse, that I was just an idiot. The grammar is a catastrophe nowadays. Thats the way she wants it. Like my shrink said, before I even brought it up – “the webmaster seems to know what shes doing, but the ones caring for the cats... what kind of people are they?” She had looked through the cat shelter sites just recently because she wanted to adopt an abandoned cat.

Ive read more than estimately 2 500 books, mostly scolastic books (thats the right word, “fackböcker”?), but also decent novels. Ive written several books. Few people have read as many books. How can she suggest I dont know how to handle grammar? Why was it worth so little that I proofread before I publish? Okay, Englist isnt my first language, but believe me – I know my way around Swedish. How can they just dismiss my charity efforts? It benefitted the adoptions of those cats.

I went there almost daily to feed and care for the little ones. Im barely able to leave the porch because Im scared theyll lash out at me if they see me. I adopted an abandoned sweet guy, almost dead from starvation, and now hes such a loving healthy feline. They never asked how hes doing. They didnt care that I was devastated, never got in touch again. I dont dare to go to the shelter and I dont have the key. Ill never volunteer to do charity work again. I dont even want to have anything to do with any human being. Cant seem to do anything right. It still hurts so much. Maybe I can update my own site, settle with the Ghostbusters. Id rather help the cats, but I cant choose that option.