October 3 - Crap!

Haven't been able to look at my site for a long long time, but this sleepness night I did. I'm devastated. I couldn't remember it was such crap! Crap crap crap. Bad art, bad everything. I should never have attempted to write in English. Almost every sentence is wrong. I can put up with the Swedish stories, but not the English ones. They're mangled and have a terrible Egon/Janine focus. Now I long for nothing. I urged to write, but have a barrier. Now I don't see how I urged to produce crap. The language problem is a terrible obstacle. I see why people think litte of my stuff.

Can't sleep but have to get up three hours from now. Sneaked into a chatty page of a GB forum and notified that I was around. They don't know me. Better to let it stay that way. Opened three packages from eBay. It was a picture LP with GB, two rare GB books, and a bathroom set with RGB. I've two more waiting at the post office. Discussed with my boyfriend that I want to write and he said I haven't mentioned it in years. Why don't I kill them off and have it over with, he said. Maybe he's right. It's just that I love them so much.