June1 - On national TV

Lay sleepless for the whole night. Was worrying about lots of things, but mostly about making that phonecall in the morning. Of course, it went from bad to worse. Made the call with a drowsy whiskey voice and left home an hour later. I was tired - very tired. So tired that I couldn't finish the day there, so I went home again before supper. Missed the castle tour that was scheduled. Broke down and started bawling. Very distressing.

Slept a coupla hours and woke up almost as depressed. Didn't know what to do. My boyfriend tried to cheer me up by talking about the mail I got, from national TV, that they wanted to make a thingie about me and my Ghostbusters collection. Apparently the woman on TV had rummaged through a collector's list I'm on, because that's the only place my e-mail address is listed. She said she'd call me right away if I gave her my number. What a weird, weird spot it would be in the Second Hand show they're airing. Well, I live too far away from Capital City and they won't be making the clip. "It's your chance to reach out!" my boyfriend said. "You're the only one up North who can do it!" ...yeah right, remind me I'm the only collector around here. Like I'd salvage someone...

Was worried Ben was gonna hate me for my Ben page, so I removed the stage name he's using. Wow, I didn't remember I was sucking up to him that much! No wonder he might be mad at me. I made up my mind I won't order his CDs. What if the response would poison the love I feel for his efforts in the Real Ghostbusters?

I'm depressed and I'm knitting. I hate my life! Gaaaah!