January 31 - Snow

Was supposed to go to adultgarten, but got too stressed and didn't sleep for the entire night, so I was too tired in the morning. Felt misérable about not going and had to eat anti-angst pills. They're running out. My new doctor isn't nice, like my previous ones, and he thinks I should get a job as I'm perfectly in order. Thus he won't prescribe more than 30 anti-angst pills at a time. It's very stressing. I'm thinking about it every day. Of course I wanna get a job, but it's gonna make me kill myself, literally.

There's a lot of voices. They tell you that you ain't no good. If you have voices in your head, don't mention 'em, or you'll be put on lots of foul medicine. They're gonna concentrate on that, and not your depression! What's some music and voices, compared to depression? Nothing.

Got the very cute Clark Kent plush doll, which is very nice. Also got the expensive calendars. They're nice, but will always remind me of a bad judgement and thus is more of a pain.

Was alone until night, as my boyfriend was attending archeaology class until late. Lotsa snow. Wouldn't wanna drive. Read some. Watched a TV documentary about a guy putting houses on fire in the next town. It was before I moved in, but anyway.

I think I won't make another bid on Ghostbusters stuff, as I don't have enough cash flow. The bad bid on "The greatest American hero" put a stop to it. They cheated me, I think. They embedded in a mass of text that they'd gonna charge 25 dollars on each DVD. I can't read that well. I'm too confused to comprehend. Fuck everything.