Meeting the new doctor

Went to see the doctor yesterday. Couldn’t sleep - I don’t recommend paying the doctor a visit when you havent slept for 24 hours. Before seeing her, I had googled her name, but didn’t learn much. Had a suspicion she was an immigrant, and that proved correct. Always had a problem with foreign accents, because being Aspie is based on interpreting manually, and I realized we didn’t connect very well.

She hadn’t read up on me at all. Spent too much valuable time explaining the basics to her. Started off with her trying to cut it short from the very start, simply throwing me out into work practise. I tried to stay calm and explained that Im in no condition to work. Who would want me around, a woman too depressed to read or count? Of course I want to work. Ive worked when I was worse off than now. That’s why I know it will be a disaster.

For some reason, I thought I would have learned what decision she made, so Id know what will happen this summer. New rules… she has to write a recommendation, and a doctor who has never seen me is making the final judgement. That will take at least a month. Im so worried that I don’t know what to do. She said I should sell our little house and move into a flat. I answered that would be more expensive, and that we’d have to move far away. I cant remember everything. It was horrible. I want my old doctor back, but he retired. I wanna see my shrink, but shes on a long term sick list and then on vacation until Fall. I want to talk to somebody, but there is no one. I could get out of the frying pan and into the fire.

Oh, and she said I must eat no sleeping pills. I see the point, but I will be so messed up from a lack of sleep.