May 2nd 2007 - The STARGÅTE effect

Some days I tell myself that I'm never going to drink again. This was such a day. After finishing blogging last time, I had a few more beer and was impatiently noticing that I didn't stagger much, didn't feel that drunk and, above all, wasn't entering "reality". This my "reality" goes back to before I joined art school and got a bad depression, fourteen years ago. Reality as in having feelings, not being wrapped up in layers of layers of see-through cotton. Reality as in how incidents and everyday life mattered, instead of being colorless and sometimes full of anxiety.

Almost five liters of beer later I figured that dawn had arrived and that I could just as well go to bed and read something. You do read books in a different way than when you're sober. Or, sober - I wouldn't put my normal state as being "sober".

Anyway, this Thursday was pretty much ruined by a bad hangover. Most unfair! I did my part, trying to enter "reality", and usually my hangover don't get as bad as this one. Not becoming very drunk, but having a case of weeping, and not entering "reality". Same result as the last dozen times. The ruddy roadworkers began working just outside my window at 7 AM, so I got just one hour of sleep. As I first stated, "I'm never going to drink again". My kidneys hurt. Are they supposed to, if you drink? Bah.

I've now learned to obey when the doctor says "No drinking, combined with your prescribed medication", as far at not drinking and combining any sleeping-pills. Thus, no sleep for the wicked. Real tired and with a hangover... I figured I'd better watch some TV.

There was Stargate SG1, the series - or, pardon me, STARGÅTE. The English have no clue how silly that sounds! Hehe. Haven't seen that series before. Anyway, a really cute guy popped up, being the brains. His name was Daniel and luckily the episode focused on him. My face ached afterwards from forming a stupid wide grin as soon as I saw him. They guys were sometimes using jumpsuits with a logo on their upper arm, and I was so charmed. There even was illuminant sweeping spirits, beams that looked like proton rays and the "mirrored" billowing smoke effect in the sky! Bliss.