Got the GB game!

Got the Ghostbusters game yesterday! It’s so beautiful… better than I could ever imagine. Got some serious sensory overload. Hampered by not knowing how to handle the controller, though. Being mainly Real Ghostbusters oriented, I was confused by my first “mission” - firing at Slimer? Found myself begging Ray not to, that couldn’t be right, but then Slimer took off and I was supposed to go after him. Surely he’d have to be in the kitchen, I figured. Spoke to the Vigo painting next to Janine, and it was the voice of Max von Sydow, a fellow Swede. Well, shan’t give the story away, but a Rookie with no experience with the xbox360 controller is no good. Have to read up on the manual.

Unfortunately, I was too ill to play. As much as I wanted to devote the evening to the GB game, there was no chance. Went to bed in the afternoon to get some rest, but didn’t wake up until this morning. Been too sick to play today, can’t even read a simple news article. Just drank two strong cups of coffee and hope to soon be able to focus on the game. My boyfriend is watching soccer, so the TV’s occupied, but an hour from now I’ll have another go at it. Watching some Real Ghostbusters episodes while writing this.

Making progress with my ancestral research - found two more Sven Svensson, so now they’re six. One ancestor was a soldier in Pommern during the war. Finally found that Belgian Walloon I’ve heard rumours about, born 1620 something. The only immigrant so far.

Maybe getting GB game tomorrow

That popular TV-channel aired “Ghostbusters II” last Friday. Bad copy again, and the subtitling was so crummy that we cringed and turned off the TV. In the weekend a girl had put her used Xbox360 Ghostbusters game up for auction and even if I had promised myself not to pay attention, there was no way I could resist when noticing I could place a low bid. To my great surprise I won the auction! Have impatiently been waiting for the girl to get in touch and tell me her bank details, and yesterday I finally heard from her, paying immediately. She said she might mail the game today! If I’m lucky, tomorrow it’ll will be here!

Very much looking forward to something to cheer me up, because I’ve virtually been breaking apart. Yesterday I had an appointment with my contact at the psychiatry and was so looking forward to that, because she’s cancelled many times. The receptionist sent me off, saying I was there an hour too early, so I took the car to a nearby grocery market to buy a chocolate bar.

My contact called me on my cell, asking where I was, explaining we did indeed had an appointment at one o’clock and that it had been wrong that the receptionist sent me off. This is so typical… had to get outta the store and drive back. Those receptionists get things messed up all the time and I don’t trust them one bit. Last time she thought I was a nuisance because I paid bills on the internet when no one was in the reception to charge cash - that she had to call the bank to verify. Who doesn’t pay bills on the internet nowadays? On one other occasion I asked to pay cash the following visit, but that too was a nuisance! Messing up their database, they said. There’s no way to please them, is there.

My contact agreed I can see her again on Tuesday. I guess you have to pay people to stay on topic, if the topic is yours truly. Everyone else focus on themselves and load their problems onto me, and I can’t even cope with my own. Hope I can fix the rear backlights of my car before Tuesday. It’s difficult fixing it, because it’s not just a matter of switching a light bulb. Know nothing about cars… the repairman I saw last time seemed to think I was some idiot from Mars, so I’m reluctant about seeking his help again, or finding another repairman. Besides, I’m too ill to find the strength to go by bus and take long walks when the car is taken hostage. Really have to find a way, because the annual car check is three weeks from now and must be fully operational by then.

No game for the wicked

As for Xbox360 GB game, I’ll have to accept the unfairness of it all and set for the release date and not chase down an imported copy. Just can’t risk losing money when dealing with some guy. Maybe my health has improved in November so I can enjoy the game. Ain’t in too good shape… yesterday was a bitch.

Man, can barely write or comprehend when putting these words together. Listening to Susan Boyle’s new single “Wild horses” on YouTube over and over again. Cool she set for a Rolling Stones song. Tonight my boyfriend will participate in the poker world cup and I so hope he’ll make a bit of money. I’m besides myself with worry about finances, especially now when my car doesn’t work. I can’t deal with it, too ill to take the car to a repair guy and I don’t want to think of how much it’ll cost. Any day the water/plumbing bill that was unexpectedly forced on us will pop up, and that’s when we’re out on the street.

Haven’t decided if I should call health care next week. Explaining that you’re not feeling better after nine days on antibiotics is asking for trouble. Lyme disease is low esteem and doctors unwilling to help. Anyone would agree I met far more than my share of incompetent rude doctors and I rather read incantations than see one. Well, if I don’t improve, I just don’t know how to manage any longer. I’m a wreck, physically and mentally. Can’t cope with anything.

Quitting my anti-depressives is saving me some money, but a drop in the sea. Every third day the symptoms I get because of not taking he drugs is forcing me to take one pill. Haven’t gone cold turkey, not at all, but quitting these drugs gives symptoms, even if doctors say it don‘t. Sudden flashes in the nerves, like electric charges, leaving you stiff and breathless, with a booming sound in your ears.

Xbox360 GB game postponed

Yesterday “Ghostbusters” aired on one of the biggest channels and I watched the beginning. My boyfriend said I should tape it and watch later, because I was very tired due to lack of sleep, but I reminded him that I have a silly amount of versions on DVDs and tapes. Strange thing that the channel aired a low quality copy… pointless to keep watching, but nice it was broadcasted on a Friday evening. In my TV guide it was rated four outta five, never saw that before! Always a tree outta five. Funny it was labelled “from age 11” on screen. Nice feeling that fellow countrymen were watching.

Was thrilled to discover that someone sold his Xbox360 Ghostbusters game on a web auction a day ago. Some utter bastard decided that the European release date regarding most consoles is now November 6, even as the game is region free. Have used that particular auction site many times, but when I logged in, the correct password wasn’t accepted and my account was blocked for an hour! Convinced my boyfriend he must use his account to win the auction, but it was blocked on first try! Today I requested a new password, but can’t log in anyway. Just wrote a long angry mail to the site. The auction ended at half price, compared to retailers. I’m so pissed off. Never saw an imported copy for sale before, apart from one site, a ripoff deal.

To top it off, the European release just got postponed for two more weeks! I want the Xbox360 version because it’s the best and I have no PS3 console, on which it‘s already released. As I said, I’m not buying from the US, because I’m not risking that much money, and they will probably add a high customs fee again. Man, it sucks being an overseas fan.

I'm in such a bad mood today! Doesn't help that I'm not recovering like "planned" regarding my lyme disease. My back is killing me... feels just like the lumbal punction aftermath a coupla years ago. Not used to being pissed off like this for several hours.

Waiting for October 23rd

Supposed to go to my “shrink” today, but cancelled because she’s ill. She cancels rather frequently, but today it’s okay, because I don’t feel perky.

The Swedish astronaut Fuglesang is leaving ISS now and going back to Earth. I’ve been worrying about him, but so far so good. In his book, which I read a few months ago, he wrote about undergoing simulation training in the US. One snippet in particular fascinated me, about the cultural differences. He thought it would be enough to have consumed American TV and literature all his life, but talking to people left him confused and unsure. As when being told he did something “Excellent!” meaning anything from great to so-so.

My boyfriend’s ill in bed, the monthly panic attack coming up. During the two weeks I had all my symptoms there was no use talking to him about them, because he insisted I had panic attacks. I’m not surprised it was lyme disease. Doesn’t seem he believes there are other kinds of health conditions than his. Yesterday I could cook and eat dinner, but today I haven’t been able to. Losing weight, but I don’t mind.

Learned that the Xbox360 Ghostbusters game will be released October 23rd. Adding an Egon drawing to celebrate.

Doctor Doctor

Got an appointment with the doctor, even if calling the nurse was a complete circus. Always try to estimate what people ought to ask about, and so I make notes about what’s important, but things always turn into some absurd Monty Python act when I make phone calls. Like, telling my social security number and she goes “oh REALLY?“ like I’m making it up. Don’t want to describe the call, but god, do I hate phoning. Even pledged to see a doctor who speaks Swedish, because last time I had to do a charade in order to make the doctor understand I had a nasty infection in my finger. Taught her a new word, “finger”. I’m not racist, but speaking remotely the same language as your doctor is essential.

My boyfriend was glad I got an appointment with “his” doctor, because that’s one of the few sane, empathetic and completely Swedish-speaking employees there. Wanted to study my notes and calm down before I entered the doctor’s office, but fifteen minutes ahead of time he stepped up to me, just when I had entered the waiting room. He didn’t ask anything, so I was trying to structure things myself, and I don’t fancy that. Couldn’t follow my golden rule “never speak first”, but guessed I ought to read out my long list of symptoms and show him my pretty rash. He agreed it looks like lyme disease and prescribed a double dose of antibiotics for ten days.

Then he fell silent and stared at me as if I was some fascinating extinct breed, so I figured maybe that was my que to say thanks and leave. Can’t blame him for being silent and puzzled if a thirty-something woman is clutching a Ghostbusters logo wallet on the verge of panic, having a Ghostbusters logo purse, plus is pointing at a lyme disease rash close to her Ghostbusters tattoo. The wallet and purse logo I had planned to hide, but he caught me by surprise. Did tell him I have aspergers and a severe depression, so maybe he understood. At least he didn’t make fun of me.

More confusion in the drugstore. She said it’s uncommon to get such a high dose, but the darling doctor indeed said I’d had a lot of strong symptoms for two weeks and wanted to be sure to kill off the germs. Today I couldn’t keep the medicine… too nauseous. Took two more pills, but I’m already in trouble - can’t follow prescription. Too few pills left. No chance in hell I’ll ask for more! It’ll just have to do.

Lyme disease again

Okay, so now it seems I know why I’ve been having all these symptoms. Discovered a large mark below my shoulder that can be nothing but a lyme disease rash. Got borrelios again! Thought it was enough to get it once in life. Don’t see many ticks munching on me, but out of the one digit number of ticks I remember removing, surely I have to get lyme disease ruddy twice. Worst thing is that I have to call a nurse, and I have such bad experience with the health care system that I rather just keep it to myself. Last time, the doctor assumed I was making things up and I had to ask him if he didn’t want to see the typical circular rash from where I removed a tick. The drug prescription was too short, according to what I read on the web, and I never really recovered. He didn't care to take a lab sample and this time there’s no use anyway, because if you had it once, you can’t tell if it’s a new infection or if it's old antibodies.

Thought I had enough health conditions already… don’t need some stupid lyme disease. Have the signs of encephalitis, because my neck is stiff, have a odd headache and I’m even worse off mentally and memory-wise than usual, but I don’t really care. Watched the movie “Awakenings” the other day, because I’m a huge Oliver Sacks fan, so now I’m telling my boyfriend maybe I should get some L-Dopa before I go catatonic.

Strange thing happened yesterday! Dreamed about the band Die Ärzte, as I mentioned in the blog, so I played the album “13” from 1995. I almost never play CDs, because at work they tortured me with two or three commercial music radio stations at once, pointing all speakers at me deliberately, for two years. Ask any asperger and you’ll know why this is extra tough. I can’t put up with music very well after that. After the song “Männer sind Schweine” I turned off the stereo and flicked on the satellite receiver, because my boyfriend wanted to watch a German soccer game and I had to fix the cables. The music channel VIVA came on, and they just started airing that very Ärzte video! They don’t show Ärzte alot, and what are the odds they’d play that old video? I don’t even watch satellite TV, and never VIVA!

Amusing video, featuring Lara Croft from Tomb Raider. I even own a tee. The singer Farin referred to the expenses of the computer animations in 1995 by saying “Don’t try this at home, kids”. The CD version has the voice of Winston in it, that’s so sweet. For many years my boyfriend thought “Die Ärzte” meant “The Peas”, but it’s “The Doctors”, which was amusing to correct. Peas… lol. Sometimes I wonder if he’s the one who’s half German, or if it’s me. I owe learning German to the Real Ghostbusters. Thanks for the lessons, guys.

Making a punk rock album

Man, fever when sleeping causes strange dreams, indeed. Was making an entire album with my second favorite band, Die Ärzte. Bela B and me shooting videos and recording a new album. The songs were great, not something you realize were crap when waking up. Wonder if I was singing in my sleep. Not that I ever get rested when sleeping, but this was hard work. Was so ill yesterday evening that I didn’t know what to do, was just pacing around the house. Forget about eating for an entire day, because I have no sense of hunger, and I have to be careful so I don’t wound myself, because I have almost no sense to the skin… and so on and so on… boring...

Anyway, back to Die Ärzte. My boyfriend wrote a mail to another of their band members once, Farin Urlaub, asking if he could use a song in a school project. He answered right away, even as it was Friday evening! They had such a funny conversation, Farin wondering where he got their albums from, “they belong to my girlfriend, she had them before we met” but that he’d been a big fan before that… even more confusion on Farin’s behalf, were their band that popular in Sweden? They formed in 1984 (glorious year!) and I’ve collected their albums for some fifteen years. Here’s a link to one of their latest hits, Junge, gore warning. Includes an “Uncle Werner”, which is particularly amusing, because my boyfriend’s got such an uncle. Aw, I just love them… humor and talent galore! Bela’s into vampires and has to include a song on each album about such lovely creatures. Too bad the album Bela and I just made won’t make it to the stores.

As for stores, have to go shopping for groceries. Don’t see how that’s supposed to happen, given the shape I’m in. Hiding in the hood of a big black Ghostbusters logo sweater… have anime-punk hair because of stress, half has fallen off and the half that’s still there is a spiky crazed mess. Watching another Die Ärzte video, speaking of hair. “My baby was at the hairdresser and now I don’t like her anymore. Life is hard, life is hard.” Lol, word!

Watching RGB on tape

No Swedish Real Ghostbusters on YouTube, but found an amusing contribution where someone had spent six minutes filming his Swedish RGB magazine collection. Simply had to make a video reply where I’d filmed mine. My odd sense of humor. Weird to see that clip, knowing those gems weren’t mine, but his!

Scanned and included the magazine pic which was missing on my site, because I was handling it when making that clip. As for “magazine” and “comic”, I learned that the latter has a certain amount of text, so the Swedish ones aren’t technically comics.

Had to play an entire videotape with the Swedish Real Ghostbusters in order to cure the abscense of their voices on the DVD release. Big smile when hearing “Trippelkola med nötter, din favvis!“, can’t hear Peter say that to Slimer too many times. Got upset when watching “Halloween 2½” because it’s got those awful Ghostbusters Juniors, a bunch you surely wanna flatten with a steamroller. Noticed they had some Ghostbusters ring, looking like mine! Didn’t remember that bit.

Drew some RGB stuff while listening, but didn’t turn out well. Always get disappointed when I draw. Tried to use ink an a steel blade pen for the first time, but my hand is too jittery and I don’t have patience to wait for the lines to dry. It’s grandpa’s old pen and after treating it with much force I managed to bend the blade enough to cooperate a bit, but beh…can’t ever calculate what the ink line will look like… thick, thin, blob, or just a scratch without any ink at all. Even works better if I keep the blade‘s front side downwards. The above pic is made with good ol’ grafit pen and colored on the comp. Not satisfied one bit, but I don’t draw much. Like, twice a year, or something.

Been running a temperature for over a week now. Had a million symptoms, but I prefer it, because I get less anxious. Don’t know why, but all the automatic accusations and panics mellow out a bit when I’m too ill physically to get anything done anyway. I figure that’s why I could calm down enough to draw.