Dear Susan,

Hope youre doing okay. I know you wont read this, but I wish you would forget about the rude articles. You have the voice of an angel and my hair always stands on end when I hear you sing. Its hard to get over when people tell you off in public.We pray that you will get your self esteem back and sing for us this weekend. Id vote for you if I could. Susan Boyle, a hundred million hits on youtube must show you that we love you and want you to reach out to us again from that stage. Never forget you have shown that an ordinary woman can be an extraordinary one.

The day I was dumped

Have to get this off my chest somehow. I was the designer and webmaster of a cat shelter site. I used to help out a lot at the shelter in terms of feeding and medicating the cats. Soon I took over the neglected site. Updated daily, did the proofreading, took pictues. There are two headmasters of the cat shelter and one of them said I was not allowed to correct her faulty lingo anymore. Was rather tired when I edited her text that morning when fixing the bad grammar. She started spamming me with mails about how I had “ruined the message”. Capslock, a million exclamation marks, very rude. I debated its important to use a common language that everyone can comprehend, not publishing her personal odd phrasing. Little did I know before she told me off, really offending me... not even seeming to comprehend what made her upset.

That was it. I had to get out of the situation. There was no use in explaining why I had changed that word. I was crying for hours and wrote back that Id continue to be the webmaster for the cats sake, but no use. She let her ego stand in the way for the update of the site, the most important link to the public. I went there at midnight and left the key along with the passwords. Hugged the cats, knowing I couldnt come back and see them for a very long time – maybe never.

Turned off my cellphone, knowing that the sane headmaster could reach me on the other phone, visit me, maybe send a mail or a text message. Nothing happened. They dumped me. Total silence. A month later, or something like that, they got a new webmaster. He isnt very skilled, so he managed to crash the images and mess up pretty much everything. Didnt look good, but what am I supposed to do. It got better after a few weeks, but not much happens regarding updates. Maybe they didnt find new owners for the cats. Maybe they dont care about updating.

There was never an excuse. She said there was nothing to excuse, that I was just an idiot. The grammar is a catastrophe nowadays. Thats the way she wants it. Like my shrink said, before I even brought it up – “the webmaster seems to know what shes doing, but the ones caring for the cats... what kind of people are they?” She had looked through the cat shelter sites just recently because she wanted to adopt an abandoned cat.

Ive read more than estimately 2 500 books, mostly scolastic books (thats the right word, “fackböcker”?), but also decent novels. Ive written several books. Few people have read as many books. How can she suggest I dont know how to handle grammar? Why was it worth so little that I proofread before I publish? Okay, Englist isnt my first language, but believe me – I know my way around Swedish. How can they just dismiss my charity efforts? It benefitted the adoptions of those cats.

I went there almost daily to feed and care for the little ones. Im barely able to leave the porch because Im scared theyll lash out at me if they see me. I adopted an abandoned sweet guy, almost dead from starvation, and now hes such a loving healthy feline. They never asked how hes doing. They didnt care that I was devastated, never got in touch again. I dont dare to go to the shelter and I dont have the key. Ill never volunteer to do charity work again. I dont even want to have anything to do with any human being. Cant seem to do anything right. It still hurts so much. Maybe I can update my own site, settle with the Ghostbusters. Id rather help the cats, but I cant choose that option.

Ten blogs...?

Surely, couldnt remember password or what the blog was called. Turned out I had to go through the procedure of getting a new password and have it sent by e-mail. Lucky, I had it registered on my current e-mail address. To my surprise, I have some ten blogs at Blogger! Just one of them active. I recall there was a persistent bug when I tried to create an account, but ten blogs? Maybe I can cancel the empty ones. Found the "hide comments" option, relieved about that. Odd, when I googled "persistent" for the correct spelling, I was told its got something to do with acne or bad breath. English never stops baffling me.

Back to fight the evil

First, Id like to apologize and explain to those who got no answer from me. Especially when it comes to private messages. I dont know if someone posted in this blog – maybe I left it open for comments. I havent looked. Also I apologize for the odd English which is to follow. This keyboard doesnt seem to have the abbreviation key. Thats what you get if buying a cheep keyboard like this.

As you might have noticed, theres been no updates regarding my site ghostbusters.se for a very long time. This isnt because I stopped being a fan... theres no way Ill ever stop. Been devastated and hamptered by the comments I got when I was active on mailing lists and by what I was told in mails. It will always haunt me, it seems, to a point of not being able to produce art, stories or whatever. Its been many years since I posted anything.. The worst thing was to be publicly ridiculed and bluntly told off at lenght as a person, not just regarding my art and stories. After that I was totally ignored. There was nothing to do. I regret it so bad, having posted anything. Regretted it every day for so many years.

Last week I was able to draw a few portraits of the RGBs. First time I didnt panic when holding a pencil and looking at a sketch pad. I missed drawing, and I miss writing stories even more. Being short of money, Ive ordered just the most neccessary things over the years, such as the new GB comics and the official collectors edition of RGB episodes on DVD. Booked the game, of course. Im so looking forward to it. There will be a uprise in GB fans. New ones, unlike an anachronism like me. New opinions and new canon. GBs using cellphones, I figure. Heresy!

Yeah, I should know better than to comment new GB stuff, any stuff whatsoever, but heres one. The four new miniseries comics as of last year. Me no like! Not the story, the art, the characters, the design, the covers. Can I say that? Thrilled that there was a recent GB release, but who wrote the stuff? Some Venkman (Venk-Man! even) obsessed superhero fan? Cant even figure where to begin pouring oozing goo on the thing. The guys never talked like that. Hurts my eyes. Couldnt they let someone experienced proofread, make the story add up, scrap the faultering plot, discard the completely incorrect cover and let the GBs be the GBs we know and love? If theres RGB influence, why not let it be moderately canon? And their hair! What happened to their hairstyle? Need tip-ex and a filter pen.

Okay, lets drop the topic. My most recent personal horror took place just an hour ago. Posted about a robbery on a site dedicated to rumours and brainstorm regarding crimes. My post was deleted right away by the moderator! “Cant publish links to articles because it violates copyright laws.” Way to go. My first post, immediately refused at 4:30 AM. So not going to log on again. Apologized to the moderator a million times, explaining that I thought it was okay to link in a spoiler, because many people do. What was I supposed to do, post my petition and “go ahead, google it, make sure you take a peek at the surveillance cam photos if you can find them”. They rob the grocery store, axe and gun in hand, and I mustnt post?

Well, thats all, folks. Lets see if my blog is still out there and cross fingers that I remember the damn password. Ill see if I can update the site. Kick it back into action. There must be something I can throw in. A sketch, maybe. Sorry I cant proofread the English above... the Word dictionary wasnt included on this comp. Beh.